I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel… Maya Angelou
Contributed by Meghna Sachdev
Art by Arti Varma
“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
― Rob Siltanen
According to the structure of mind as explained by Freud, he divided the mind into the conscious (ego) and the unconscious. The latter was then further divided into the id (instincts and drive) and the superego (conscience). In this theory, the unconscious refers to the areas which can not be logically explained but are there in existence.
Our mind plays games with us and so do the hormones, the adrenalins, endorphins, cortisol and what not! We do find ourselves trapped in the rigmarole of our own thoughts. Our mind can be our enemy as much as is our friend. It is like the burning fire which can give you warmth and food but can also turn you into ashes.
God is a master-player in all of this. He created the human being with all the complexities of mind. Where being able to think is a strength, it is also something that creates a lot of trouble. When i say a master-player, I mean that he kept all the subtelities for the bright ones to infer. There must have been a thought behind structuring the human being the way he did. Making a provision for one mouth and two ears, does it mean speak less and listen more?
Listening: Develop it as a skill
You must have often heard counsellors and psychologists addressing the audience for many hours throwing light on the art of listening. In a world full of noises from all directions, it is hard to find people who actually listen. Listening is an art as well as a skill. It only becomes a trouble when it is for pretence, expressing fake concerns.
But let me tell you, speaking is as important as listening. You need to keep your heart free from all the thoughts that might burden you. Don’t keep anything within you, the weight of which holds you down. Venting it out is always a better choice. Speak your heart to someone. Sharing your troubled thoughts reduces the heaviness that can dim your happiness. It is rightly said that sharing happiness multiples it and sharing sorrows divides and hence reduces the pain.
What’s important is to have someone you can talk to without being judged.
Let me share a personal experience with you. A few days ago, I felt a sadness engulfing me. I knew I had to let it out before it ate me from the inside. I decided to call one of my school friends. The call went unanswered. I, then, decided to call my mother. My mother has this habit of not receiving calls at once. So, I scrolled my contact list and called someone else. I did this for a few minutes. I made seven calls to seven different people. None of my calls were answered.
Seven can be a big number, if you look at it. I am not even talking about the number of social media friends here! Seven people who cross your mind in a time of distress. And their absence in the hour of need hurts. I walked out of the house for a walk. I saw a dog, a puppy rather, strolling on the street. I lovingly called him to my gate and sat beside him. Those shining eyes looked at me, waiting. A few minutes later, I emptied my heart out to him. This puppy was patient. It barked gently at me while I blabbered. Unspoken words fell on my ears “I’m here for you!” I could feel the burden getting lighter.
“A pair of ears, and a shoulder to lean on … isn’t that everything we all need?”
Don’t keep anything in your heart. Speak it out. Make yourselves available to the ones who might need you The world needs more empathy than judgements. Be kind, be patient, empathize… being a human … be one.
Would like to end this note on a very thoughtful words said by Maya Angelou, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Meghna Sachdev is an aspiring poet. Her poems have found a place in international poetry anthologies, “Women In Poetry” and “Words of Love”. She is currently working as a volunteer at The Slow Movement.